FOR the world Madhuri Dixit is on a downslide. Her latest release Aarzoo has bombed and she has no big release in the near future. But within the confines of her make-up room in Filmistan Studios an unbridled laughter echoes. "Come in…!" the familiar voice screams when I knock on the door. I enter to be greeted by the country's most dazzling smile.

There's an hour to go before the shooting begins and Madhuri has just finished her base make-up. It's a welcome change to see her calm as opposed to the hurried meetings we've had in the past. "An hour before the shooting is very relaxed because these are times when I sit back and assess myself personally and professionally! I also use such times to pay attention to little details like cutting my nails or check the split ends in my hair!" she laughs.

She saunters lazily in the room before settling into her chair, examining a small pimple on her forehead, in the mirror. She bends forward to check her toenails and moans, "Oh God! My nail polish has chipped and I haven't carried this shade. I'll have to change the colour on all my nails."

Suddenly without cue she points to her second toe, which overlaps with the first one and smiles. "You know, as a child I used to tell my friends that they are in love and that's why they are together. It is so strange how as children we live in a different world…," she leaves the thought incomplete.

It's quite unusual to see, a normally wary, Madhuri being so forthcoming about information not asked of her. Perhaps her reticence has been eroded by the insecurity of her position today. "Nothing could be further from the truth," she says contradicting the thought.

"People expect a rigid consistency in star behaviour forgetting that they are humans too. I'm an introvert and don't speak much but that doesn't mean I'm snooty. It's all about the moment you catch me in. If I have done two shifts, which include tiring dance steps how do you expect me to be social or forthcoming? But no one thinks of this angle. Isolated incidents add up to an image. Not that I mind, it keeps people away," she says.

Although her smile can melt a thousand hearts her forbidding demeanour has often caused people to feel that she's cold and unapproachable. She doesn't agree. "I've never been cold. I think people are so used to over familiarity here that when you are a little distant they call you unapproachable. I've never understood what they mean. Am I supposed to get euphoric every time I meet a director, co-star or a journalist? And as I said earlier, at times, it's pressure that causes you to ignore certain pleasantries but no one wants to give you a chance," she concludes, irritated at the accusation.

I change the topic with a milder question. What kind of friends does she have? "Several of my friends have grown up with me. But strangely I haven't made a friend in a long time perhaps because I don't feel the need to. My family gives me enough security and warmth and I don't have to look for it outside!"

It could also be because she has closed herself to new people I point out expecting another outburst. She thinks for a while before answering, "maybe to an extent. After achieving so much success and fame I'm apprehensive about people's motives. I want to be sure that people want to be friends with me and not my fame!"

Does she suspect the motives of the press too? Why is she so reticent when it comes to answering questions or meeting members of the press? She giggles before answering, "It's not that I'm scared of them or I dislike them. In fact the press has never been too good or too bad towards me. My relationship has been on an even plain with them. I don't give too many interviews because I have nothing interesting to say really. The problem with interviews is that you have to be ready to spill your guts out to a stranger. I can't do that! So I guess they only cover me when my film is a hit or my so-called position is in danger!"

Talking of her position, one has always heard her saying that the No.1 position never mattered to her. Would she miss the limelight if it weren't hers tomorrow? Pat comes the reply, "No I won't. After all every good or bad thing has to end someday. For someone else to be No.1, someone has to give up the position. Didn't Hemaji bow out to give place to Sridevi? In any case after fifty years when people think of us who will remember these numbers? When we mention Waheeda Rehman, Vyjayanthimala or Nargis do we remember what position they were at? When I joined films I was clear I wanted to make a name, which I have done to an extent. The rest doesn't matter!"

Soon, the assistant directors begin signalling to her. It is time for another shot. She excuses herself to change into her costume and when she comes back, the familiar picture is complete. She's all set for another chatpata song. "Yes... it's a song and I hope it's great!" she smiles back making her way out of the room.