Who is Madhuri?

No, you haven't seen the last of Madhuri Dixit. Far from it.

True, she hasn't been as prolific as she has been in the past. Add to the fact her recent marriage to Dr Sriram Nene, which has her admitting, "I've become very choosy about my roles. Till something excites and involves me completely, I don't take it up. I'm looking for roles with substance now."

Which means you're unlikely to see an Ek do teen or a Choli ke peeche or even a Dhak dhak number from her. For Madhuri's on a hunt. For meat (read meaty roles).

She is now shooting for Deepak Shivdasani's Yeh Raaste Hain Pyar Ke with Ajay Devgan. (That most of their shots are okayed in the first take only goes to show their professionalism.) And there's M F Husain's much-hyped, much-awaited Gajagamini.

Lata Khubchandani catches up with a reflective Madhuri, as she charts a path of self-discovery:

"I have to thank my profession for a lot of things. Acting has given me the confidence to deal with different people and face different situations. There are times you meet people you don't like. But you learn to cloak that dislike beneath a veneer of charm.

That apart, and more important, acting heals. It is a wonderful opportunity to express yourself. See, I'm a shy person. There's no way I would ordinarily cry in front of people or even confide in them. Acting is that vent for my emotions.

But yes, to a large extent, the first roots for my profession were sown in my school (Bombay's Divine Child High School). An all-girls school, it was the best period of my life. We were taught by nuns who took a personal interest in each of us. We were all encouraged to take part in extra-curricular activities. For instance, I was never good at sports, but that didn't stop me from taking part in it. My friends and I were always up to something at school. Because I was very popular with the teachers, I usually got away with things. They just wouldn't believe I could be naughty. That, of course, made my friends mad!

Tezaab and counting...
That is also the time I started learning dance. Kathak occupied my attention totally. Though when I first started acting, I found dancing in films very difficult. On stage, your moments are free, uninhibited. In front of the camera, you have to keep in mind the frame, which limits your movements.

Tezaab changed all that. When I rehearsed for Ek do teen, I lost my inhibitions. What I did learn is that film dance is very different from folk and classical dance though it is influenced by them.

To a different beat
I think I have grown as an actress. There are more nuances, more shades... there's more depth to my acting. Over the years, I've grown as a person. My experiences have shaped my personality. And that reflects in my acting.

That is why, today, I am interested in roles that are rich in content. I know it's cliched to say that I want to do something different, but I'd like to do roles which excite me. Until something inspires me completely, I'm not going to take it up.

The independent bid
For instance, Gajagamini is different. I play a number of women. And there are parts of me in each of them. I identify with all the roles -- Shakuntala, Sangeeta the blind singer, Gajagamini, Monica the modern girl, the Millennium woman... It is not a popular film nor is it an art film. It's a painter's eyeview, a very visual film.

All that hype about my being an inspiration aside, it is so rare for an artiste to inspire another. Especially one as well-read and experienced as M F Husain. At 83, he's still creating and that is so inspiring when you see people giving up on life at 35 and 40...

That is why Ketki of Mrityudand finds an echo in me. She doesn't give up. I'm a strong believer in womanpower. And Ketki, to me, is a good example. Rather than declaring, 'I'm independent', and walking off when she discovers that her husband has gone astray, she stays back to make him realise the fact, and works at the relationship.

A woman is equal if not superior to man. Physical and mental specifics aside, man and woman are both creations of one Creator. So the same power rests in both man and woman. You can't treat the one as different from the other.

For example, there were shades Pooja of Dil To Pagal Hai, which I completely identified with. Then again, my character in Anjaam was most unlike me. But she was one character I got under so completely that I surprised myself.

So, yes, it has been a journey of self-discovery, an opportunity I can't help being grateful for.